Christmas ... Already?

I'm having a hard time believing this year is almost over. I don't know if it's because that means I'm just that much closer to being a mother or what.

It's hard for me being on disability. Each day just kind of melts into the next. I have things around the house that need doing, or certain bills to get adjusted or other things and I keep starting projects and intending to finish them and the next thing I know it's two weeks later and nothing is done.

I keep up with the housework ... sort of. I am the Queen of Procrastination. I have been for as long as I can remember. I bought some fabric to make curtains for the nursery. Two or three weeks later (I'm really not sure on how long) and I finally got it cut into three pieces. That's one for each window. I even pinned one up on a curtain rod to see how it would look (great, by the way) and for the past week the pieces have been sitting on my dining room table waiting to be pinned and sewn.

I keep meaning to borrow Mom's sewing machine. And her iron. I am going to have to either go ahead and make the damn curtains some time this week, which is not very likely because I have so much else to do to get ready for Christmas here at the house. If I don't, though, I will end up putting the fabric away somewhere and forgetting about it altogether.

Mom calls that "squirreling."

I already have a bit of a menu planned for lunch on Christmas. Unfortunately, nothing I have chosen to prepare even remotely resembles healthy, but hey, I am going to have weight to lose after Ethan comes anyway. What's a few extra pounds on top of what I already gained, right?

And I'm still even having trouble believing that I'm pregnant and not just fat and gassy. I've gotten so used to the big ol' lump on my belly that it's like I've always had it and all of the kicks are just gas bubbles or indigestion or something.

There's a car seat and a stroller in the spare room now, in addition to the crib, and for some reason I can't make it sink into my head that in just a short amount of time there will be a baby in there too.

It just doesn't make sense. I put up the Christmas tree today and that doesn't make sense either.